Kinship: Children and Parents

The parent-child relationship is one of kinship, the connection by blood, marriage, or adoption; a family relationship.

Spiritually, we regard kinship as the relationship by nature or character, as affinity. Kinship is rooted in the principles of Spirit and Love or substance; kinship must obey the laws of doing.









Edna Lister on Kinship: Children and Parents

An infant is open to every vibration in the family and eventually the whole neighborhood. Start right by surrounding the baby with love. Imagine him or her surrounded with a wall of protective fire, which is divine love, through which nothing harmful can penetrate, and declare it so. You can declare that a wall of love surrounds the body of every unborn child. No expression, repression or anything from the mother's mind or environment can make it less than perfect. – Edna Lister, From a student's lecture notes, January 24, 1933.

Selfish, greedy desires wreck physical lives. We should keep our children busy creating something so that they will not seek desire on physical plane. The balance must be kept. – Edna Lister, From a student's lecture notes, February 2, 1933.

Children are our divine trust. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, November 30, 1944.

A parent gives a child awakened capacities. Whatever the mother is interested in before the child's birth, she awakens those capacities in the child. Parents can pass on awakened and developed brain cells and impressions on the memory cells. If the mother experiences an emotional shock during the gestation, but does not dwell on it emotionally, the child will grow up with no inhibitions in that regard. All memory of it will be erased by the child's tenth birthday. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, July 21, 1945.

A most important law to teach a child is: If something you have done is not good for the whole world to do, you are breaking a law. If the whole world may do it always, then it is good. If all cannot do it forever, it is of darkness, and so small a law broken breaks all law. If something you have left undone is not good for the whole world not to do, you are breaking a law. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, September 17, 1945.

To call a child "bad" or speak the negative things about him is total darkness and scratches the soul. Help the child train self by being positive, and lift him in prayer to help him learn. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, December 13, 1947.

Touch children on the head and declare that their pineal body and pituitary gland are open and that they will know what they are to do, who they are, and where they are going. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, February 12, 1948.

As a wife and mother, enough Power, Substance, and Mind have been released to you as ideas to build your life anew. The ascension of your mate and son has been placed in your hands. They shall not ascend by your commands or your heart-expectations, but by ensample and soul-exaltation, by you becoming law and always expressing law as Love-and-Wisdom. No soul can remain "down" when another ascends in consciousness and carries him in soul arms and heart. Love never fails. Let law conquer through you. Look to the Master always, wait a moment and he will increase the Power through you to fulfill all good. Release Power where you are to fulfill your quota of service. Hold your soul-consciousness fast always, under all conditions. Every effort you make toward this will be counted as gain, and credits and rewards for effort in love and time will be given to you. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, March 21, 1948.

Children need disciplined, masterful parents. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, February 3, 1949.

Parents can put a snuffer on the candle of a child's desire. Yet, from age sixteen, it is your responsibility, not your parents', if you fail to develop your particular talents or open a door of desire. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, August 4, 1949.

An intellectual parent, who is afraid of spoiling children by loving, is unbalanced, wisdom without compassion. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, October 5, 1950.

Parents save their children's souls by living the law of discipline. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, June 14, 1951.

Law works inevitably to build situations of experience in which you may learn your lessons and pay your debts with interest when you dare make demands of another. Parents must train their children, yet even in training children you pay a debt on a demand you make of them from pride about how they look or perform. When we train the world also, they will dig this demanding pride from their own hearts.

When you pass on hereditary characteristics in the two cells of life, sperm and ova, you pay your debt in training that child to sacrifice self and to love enough. Law always pays the mother surplus credits, stored for the children. If the mother asks no special credits from her children, her surplus credits form arms of Light that reach down to protect the child when it goes into the world. When a mother brings a soul into the world, she receives credit for lending her body, making her body an altar of sacrifice and an oblation of love. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, December 15, 1952.

Nagging parents send their children into the world with bleeding auras. Go to the high altar and ask that Light mends the aura when the child is hurt. Grief depletes the aura and you blame yourself or others blame you. Know that Light mends their aura, and love God. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, June 28, 1954.

A child who is disobedient is off balance. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, July 6, 1954.

Most married couples do not want separation, but freedom from their mate's possession, from nagging and lack of understanding. If they could teach soul freedom in marital relations, many couples would reunite. This is freedom to ascend to comprehension, then compassion descends for understanding your mate. Just love God and surrender to Him. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, July 12, 1954.

When you must reprimand a child or an adult, you have used force and pay a debt, even when just. Power is soft and salubrious; it melts, dissolves and absorbs. Say, "Let Power heal Name," and Power works softly. Yet when you lash with your tongue, you use the knife of force. Perhaps you must do it, but may not do so in anger; you still pay a debt. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, December 1, 1955.

Strong-willed children require discipline to learn to command and conquer self, not punishment. Explain repeatedly that you discipline him so that he can conquer darkness. Tell your child, "You never need this when you discipline yourself." Consistently apply a rigid discipline, not one that is soft in the middle or unduly harsh. Be definite, not indefinite. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, June 11, 1956.

A child must learn his lesson, even if it means burning his hand. Declare it good, and explain to the child why it is good, so that he will remember ths point of discipline. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, October 15, 1956.

Mothers are a family's A-bombs to shatter crystallization, but when they become the H bombs, everything blows up. [An H-bomb is far more devastating than an A-bomb.] – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, May 9, 1957.

An excellent treatment for children is to see angels at the head and foot of the bed and in the four corners of the child's room. Use this for cases of child abuse and self-abuse. Build pictures of Guardian Angels for children. Pray for instructions for all teaching. Fill the "bear" of the family; bless his place at the table, his dishes and utensils, with an abundance of Light. Fill his easy chair and put him in it. Put a sheet and blanket of Light on his bed. Do this for children, too. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, May 9, 1957.

No child appreciates a parent who overindulges him or treats him carelessly. Children hold softness against us, because it produces dry rot in their souls. – Edna Lister, God as All the Little Things, November 24, 1957.

We must train children to conquer self. – Edna Lister, God as All the Little Things, November 24, 1957.

Whom the Lord loves, he chastens, and scourges every son whom he receives. – Hebrews 12:6. Every lesson and experience that comes your way is to polish you. All chastening is for your ascension. Love it, declare it good and work through it while staying up in consciousness. Teach a child to strive to do everything perfectly so that God need not chastise her to be perfect as our heavenly Father is perfect. To declare, "I accept. I observe. I surrender" is to see, hear and to "get" it all, all the time, at all times. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, January 3, 1958.

Any woman who "mothers" people has "children" who cling to her. God accepts her as a mother above. – Edna Lister, Promises Fulfilled, May 11, 1958.

The deeper love penetrates and permeates the soul, the more it becomes true mother love. A mother will "kill" herself to see that her child goes to school or college and succeeds. You can always depend on true mother love, which stands like a rock or pillar in the world. – Edna Lister, Promises Fulfilled, May 11, 1958.

Celebrating Mother's Day is the beginning of a child's expression of love. – Edna Lister, Promises Fulfilled, May 11, 1958.

Sacrifice: when concerned about your child, for instance, if he does not come home on time, first lift the fear, then your pride, injured because he disobeyed. You must completely surrender all this, and hold no suspicion. Pray and robe the child in Light. This takes discipline and patience, but do not stop praying. You are responsible for lifting, no matter what it is: pain, shame, grief or any problem to sacrifice. God sends Light to illumine the situation. A real sacrifice is recognizing that you are angry and lifting it immediately. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, May 22, 1958.

Parents who claim they have sacrificed so much for their children have not, in reality, sacrificed enough. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, September 1, 1958.

Build a sun center of Light in your child's bedroom door and every door your children pass through. Send the Spirit of the Lord before children to make their way easy for the day. Declare that sun centers of Light are whirling in their bodies. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, October 30, 1958.

The purity of a parent's idealization of their child must come directly from the Source. A parent's love glorifies their child only when it is pure, selfless and comes directly from the Source. – Edna Lister, Idealization, May 10, 1959.

A parent who idealizes their child can be so austere in their expression that the child feels neglected. Some parents possess a child as ideal, but this is not idealization. It operates as criticism on a foundation of resentment, and cuts the lines of Light. Some parents speak biting words ("Why come to me?") when their child fails to meet their ideal, which neutralizes divine Love. The child knows he has failed to meet the parent's ideal standard, yet is unable to express it. – Edna Lister, Idealization, May 10, 1959.

Send a pillar of protective fire before your children and loved ones daily. See them enfolded in a cloud of protective Love substance. Say to your loved ones, "Go forth armored in Light and the glory of God." – Edna Lister, Visualization, May 17, 1959.

Commercials use the power of suggestion to entice us to buy products. Declare that children who watch television are wearing rose-colored glasses. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, May 24, 1959.

To send your child out into the world, "see" walls of fire around him. Declare that wherever his feet tread, lights descend to cleanse and purify him for the One God, an thank God for this hourly. Then his Guards have something with which to work. Do this for all your loved ones. Surround your family, home and children with the fiery Light of the Christ. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, June 15, 1959.

Tell a child not to do something and it becomes the next thing he does. When soul decides, law challenges "little me," and self interprets according to its viewpoint. – Edna Lister, I Am the Truth, October 11, 1959.

Discipline is a pattern most easily learned at home when we are young. What good is an undisciplined child or adult? You reap whatever you sow, and find yourself caught in others' reactions if you act or speak in an undisciplined way. – Edna Lister, Your Full Birthright, December 6, 1959.

In disciplining a child, reprimand firmly when necessary but always with the foundation and undercurrent of love upholding and fulfilling it. Only love can fulfill any law anytime, any place, for any reason whatever, for anyone. A reprimand without the fullness of love is barren, sterile, and unproductive. Results come not from forcing law upon another but from love that enfolds, fills and lifts the one receiving the law. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, April 9, 1960.

When you need to discipline your children, move up in consciousness, into the Light first. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, June 6, 1960.

Breathe deeply seven times to possess your bloodstream in the morning while still in bed, or you'll feel like a zombie. Send a fussy child back to bed to breathe deeply seven times and get up on the "right side of the bed." – Edna Lister, The Key to Integration of Soul and Spirit, June 6, 1961.

Where holding a child to obedience is necessary, make an impersonal stand, giving no thought to whether he will love or hate you for it. Immediately, despite the outer world, ascend to the altar of prayer in sacrifice. Only so can Light fill the child's body to overcome any hate, to absorb and change it into love. Act under complete selflessness and surrender, with no taint of self-justification or pride, or the child is left to wallow in repressions of hate. A love that is demanding to the self can become buried under hate. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, July 19, 1961.

Regard your dear ones' weaknesses as the green leaves of the brush and trees, coming out in the spring. They are still very tender sprouts, so cherish them and let them grow. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, January 24, 1962.

You could ascend and conquer everything earth can produce, if you obey the most sacrificial of laws governing the greatest difficulties in our relationships. St. Paul boils it down to this: Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:1-4. Parents make children angry when they do not live up to the ideals they preach. If parents can discipline children without interjecting their opinions, prejudices and worn out emotions, they will not provoke their children. – Edna Lister, What Is Compassion, May 6, 1962.

Life is a step by step process of conquering. A child conquers in each thing he learns. – Edna Lister, God as Personality and Principle, May 20, 1962.

No parent should threaten their children about God, but give them knowledge of a God of honor, love and protection. God does see and hear everything, and takes care of you. He is the reason to become moral, honorable, loyal. – Edna Lister, Love: Your Radar, November 17, 1963.

When you hate to correct or discipline children, the child registers your insecurity unless you think, "I am doing the right thing." You must earn a child's respect. You must not nag or ask "please" of a willful child. Instilling a healthy serious respect for authority is necessary for some children. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, January 9, 1964.

Praise all the qualities your child partially manifests: "Father, thank You that he/she is so loving, has so many friends," etc. When an adolescent has reached the point of tantrums, enlist an older person to talk to him/her, one who can "throw the book" at the youth. Don't nag. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, January 9, 1964.

Too many blame their parents or background for what they are or do now, which is just a way to escape responsibility. – Edna Lister, The Word: Your Magic Wand, April 12, 1964.

People run their lives based on what their parents did, but repeating an old pattern awakens no new brain cells. – Edna Lister, The Word: Your Magic Wand, April 12, 1964.

Unless you become as a little child, you cannot enter the kingdom. – Edna Lister, Loveliness and Beauty, October 25, 1964.

Angels, who are God's messengers and servants, watch over everything on earth. Ministering angels always watch over children. Guardian angels abound at playgrounds to care for children. Recording angels note every event in the Book of Life. Roving Legions of Angels clasp you, "lest you dash your foot against a stone." Angels are with you if you stub your toe, to hold you up. They have charge of every soul at transition. All of this and more goes on in the background, invisible. – Edna Lister, What Are Angels, December 6, 1964.

To discipline children, use firmness without venom or revenge, and they come through. When you are too soft, children take you for a doormat. Softness is self-indulgence. Make your love firm, brisk, final, strong and just. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, February 4, 1965.

Everyone has the same thin skin. Shield your loved ones in Mother blue light to protect them. Let your child grow up with a starry crown on his head as his thousand petaled crown lotuses unfold. – Edna Lister, Your Life: Detriment or Glory, June 5, 1965.

In disciplining a child, be firmly final about law, yet loving and compassionate to lead the child through these hard times and prepare him for adult life. When disciplining, make sure it is for this infraction or time, without giving license for all time. To let down on discipline below a certain level incites the one being disciplined to rebel. Hold your own level of brooding, yearning compassion of love that is firm, not soft wobbly, or weak. Love must be brisk always, this far and no farther! – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, July 20, 1965.

Permissive parents have no control over their children, so you must put the power of love in all you do or say. – Edna Lister, Choice: Your Glorious Foundation, October 16, 1966.

Children can learn to make their own choices and to conquer, which is the pathway of Ascension. – Edna Lister, Three States of Consciousness, November 17, 1968.

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Treatments for Children

Treat your loved ones as newborns, and mother them. "Now look. This is quite enough. Let's go on amiably" is how to make a firm stand to end the foolishness. Lift in love. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, June 15, 1948.

Fill your children with Light. Bless their places, dishes and utensils at the table with an abundance of Light. Put a pillow, sheet and blanket of Light on their bed. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, March 7, 1957.

Put cotton in your ears and say to an arguing child, "I am not interested in your opinions." – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, January 10, 1963.

Laughter and rejoicing build the vibration for our children. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, November 15, 1963.

When one hates to correct or discipline a child, the child registers a lack of security unless the parent thinks, "I am doing the right thing." You must not beg or ask a willful child "please." In some it is necessary to instill a healthy fearful respect of authority. Parents must exercise parental control with absolute precision: "I love you but I'm bored with what you do. I am as bored with you as you are with me, but you are stuck with me." The important thing is to hold onto that integrity of belonging to God and to doing His will. Praise the child evenhandedly, without going overboard. Don't nag.

When your daughter is on the verge of becoming an adult, bite your tongue, with no corrections. When an adolescent has reached the point of tantrums, enlist another, older woman to talk to her, one who can "throw the book" at her. You must earn a child's respect. Study the spiritual laws to gain her respect first; no matter what she says, she does and will love you. When she prays, say, "Thank God that she is so respectful." Praise all the qualities she partially manifests: "Thank you Father that she is so loving, has so many friends, etc." – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, January 9, 1964.

To discipline a rebellious child, say, "This is the way it's going to be," and walk off. Then lift every bit of rebellion from the child's heart. Affirm: "Let the Light consume all Name's rebellion." That Light lifts accumulated karma. Declare in the child's room: "All darkness is lifted. Let there be Light. Let Light permeate Name's aura and consume rebellion. Father, thank You that this day's lifting of all unlikeness is perfect. I am free. Nothing moves me. I lift! I do not claim this for myself. It does not belong to me." – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, January 24, 1966.

In dealing with children and young people, we are responsible only to keep them filled with Light. Their idle words mean no more to God than do yours. Let the Light do the work, using you as the instrument. John Milton wrote, "They also serve who only stand and wait." Don't wait by pulling at the bit, but build a picture of where you will be. When you put someone on his cloud of Light, you must not pull him down by being restless for results. – Edna Lister, Unpublished Papers, January 17, 1969.

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New Testament on Kinship: Children and Parents.

Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. – Matthew 18:3-6.

And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them: and when he had taken him in his arms, he said unto them, Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth not me, but him that sent me. – Mark 9:36-37.

[The kingdom is composed of innocent children.] Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein. – Mark 10:14-15.

[The kingdom is composed of innocent children.] Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein. – Luke 18:16-17.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:1-4.

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Old Testament on Kinship: Children and Parents

Bris: The Covenant: Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations. This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised. And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you. And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed. He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant. And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant. – Genesis 17:9-14.

I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High. But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes. – Psalm 82:6-7.

Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. – Psalm 127:3.

He that spares his rod hates his son: but he that loves him chastens him betimes. – Proverbs 13:24. [This law is no excuse for abuse, brutality or cruelty.]

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. – Proverbs 19:18.

Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right. – Proverbs 20:11.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6.

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. – Proverbs 23:13-14. [This law is no excuse for abuse, brutality or cruelty.]

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame. – Proverbs 29:15.

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Kinship: Children and Parents in Other Sacred Writings

Honor your father and mother (Wisdom and Love) both in word and deed, that a blessing may come upon you from them, for the blessing of the father establishes the houses of children; but the curse of the mother roots out foundations. – Wisdom of Ben Sirach 3:8-9.

Judge none blessed before his death: for a man shall be known in his children. – Wisdom of Ben Sirach 11:28.

A child left to himself will be willful. – Wisdom of Ben Sirach 30:8.

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Etymology of kinship: Old English cyn(n), "race, family, kin"; from Old English cynd, gecynd(e), "origin, birth, race, family, kind"; from Latin gens, "race, clan."

Etymology of child: Old English cild "fetus, infant, unborn or newly born person."

Etymology of parent: Old French parent "father, parent, relative, kin," from Latin parentem (nominative parens) "father or mother, ancestor," noun use of present participle of parere "bring forth, give birth to, produce," from Proto-Indo-European root pere- "to bring forth."


Kinship describes a law of being.

Kinship must obey laws of doing.



Quotes

When a child can be brought to tears, not from fear of punishment, but from repentance for his offence, he needs no chastisement. When the tears begin to flow from grief at one's own conduct, be sure there is an angel nestling in the bosom. – Horace Mann, Thoughts Selected from the Writings of Horace Mann

Not till the fire is dying in the grate,
Look we for any kinship with the stars.
George Meredith, Modern Love


Brotherhood

God, what a world, if men in street and mart
Felt that same kinship of the human heart
Which makes them, in the face of fire and flood,
Rise to the meaning of true brotherhood.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox


References

Mann, Horace. "Action of Conscience," Thoughts Selected from the Writings of Horace Mann. Boston: H.B. Fuller & Co., 1867, 116.

The Compact Edition of The Oxford English Dictionary: 2 volumes. E.S.C. Weiner, editor. Oxford University Press, 1971.

Meredith, George, "Modern Love," A Victorian Anthology, Edmund Clarence Stedman, editor. Cambridge, MA: Riverside Press, 1895; Bartleby.com, 2003 [accessed February 18, 2017].

The Holy Bible. King James Version (KJV).

The Nag Hammadi Library. James M. Robinson, editor. San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1981.

Wilcox, Ella Wheeler. "Brotherhood," Five Poems by Ella Wheeler Wilcox. The Literary Digest, "Current Poetry," Issue 63, November 22, 1919, 38.


Related Topics

See Compassion

See Empathy


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